The Reinvention of Me: What Comes Next

Dan Kim, Founder and CEO of Red Mango, turned me on to it.  Each day, I’d get his posts with strikingly beautiful images of fashion, photography and things that just make the world smile.  After a few weeks of this, I decided to join what millions have already discovered: Pinterest.

Pinterest is a place for people to visually display, comment on, repin and like photos and videos of things that interest them – no status updates, no messaging, no long soliloquies to read.  Thus, the uses are endless.  I’ve seen this tool used for shopping “wish lists”, idea/product generation, design inspiration, reminders, recipe sharing and good old collaboration on just about anything (just to name a few).  Below are my current boards – some are filled in (probably too much) and others not at all (not yet anyway).

• Michael Kors
• Bling
• Things That Make Me Smile
• My Style
• SS12
• Dream Vacas
• Ingenious Innovation/Invention (I3)

What do you use Pinterest for?

When I was 17, my parents handed me the keys to my mom’s 1990 Chevy Lumina (before the days of keyless entry and just two years after clear coat was introduced).  It was fully loaded for that time period.  Why she wanted it: it was the pace car in Days of Thunder.

Not the actual one I owned but the exact model.

Well, in 1997 an elderly lady T-boned me and the car was rendered totaled.  To replace it, I was bought a brand new Ford Escort ZSX in red.  Although I had a heavy foot, I learned that red is not the color to own if you don’t want to get caught speeding.

Again, not the actual car I owned but the exact model.

Three years later and I noticed the paint was cracking on the hood.  I also noticed that the car was actually assembled in Mexico.  Not that there is a direct correlation but it was enough for me to beg my dad for a new car.  Being that we were (sort of) still a Chevy family and had been going to the same dealership for 20 years, he helped buy my 2001 Chevy Cavalier Z24 (“The Ferrari of Cavaliers” my friend once dubbed it).

I actually loved this car – it came with a CD player… and keyless entry   I loved this car until I moved to Seattle and it did something weird – at high speeds (55 MPH+) the gas tank would cut out and I’d have to coast it to the side of the road and restart the engine.  It was then I decided I was done with American-made cars. (Side note: Most “American-made” cars are still partially made in other countries so I don’t feel totally guilty pulling away from buying only American-made.)

And so, in 2004, I said goodbye to cheaper car payments and hello to foreign-made luxury brands.  My entry point into this world was a 2001 Lexus IS 300.  It was quite literally the perfect car.  I’ve not seen something truly perfect come out of Lexus since.  And, after getting the brakes replaced, found out some more interesting things about this car: The Polish movie director that once owned this in West Hollywood had imported it straight from Japan with a Japanese racing engine (this explains how quick it was).  I drove this thing from Houston, TX to San Diego, CA and then in 2008, back to DC.  I put over 100,000 miles on it and probably could have kept running it.

But true to form, I decided to sell it, in favor of something newer with less miles.  Okay well, I wasn’t really in the market, per say, but decided to poke around.  I went to Lindsay Lexus of Alexandria and there it was – the perfect car for me – my 2006 Mercedes SLK 350.  Clearly still in San Diego mode, I thought that this car would be perfect (side note: although (wrongfully) driven in snow, I must have had a death wish) – warm days with the top down, fully loaded with everything I could hope for and just the perfect new “best friend” to take everywhere.

Until… late 2010 when a major problem happened with it, and then I needed new tires every 20,000 miles, and oh, the brakes that needed to be replaced happened to require the most expensive brakes on the market.  That. Was. It.  While I was almost willing to continue to suck up the cost of owning something that brought me so much joy, my superhero of a boyfriend let me borrow his Infiniti G37 Xs and from there, I was hooked back on Japanese-made cars.  Thankfully, he recognized my quick love of it and talked me into considering a trade-in with a lease just a few days later.  Given the high cost to drive a dream car, I decided it was probably best to put me in something a bit more practical, less expensive and definitely more reliable.

Thus, all negotiated on my behalf, Infiniti of Tysons agreed to buy my Mercedes at my pay off amount and put me in a fully-loaded 2012 G37X coupe for $200 less than what I was paying previously.  I showed up at the dealership, picked the color I wanted  (from what was available) and signed the paperwork.

In case you’re looking for a brand new car to lease – something that’s fast, smooth and a techie’s dream, here are a few things about the car:

- It’s 330 hp but you wouldn’t know it. I’ve caught myself looking down at the speedometer, wondering how I got from 0 – 50 so quickly and oh crap, it’s a 35 MPH speed zone.  It’s also quiet… until the turbo sound kicks in when you step on the gas (refer back to heavy foot).

- It has XM, CD, radio, iPod, Bluetooth streaming and digital music upload options.  It also has 7 Bose speakers.  People who have ever been around me, know how much I love my music and at concert-sound levels

- It has the best navigation I’ve seen, including letting you know where floods and gale force winds are (about a 25 mile range).

- It has a touch button start – no need for keys anymore (okay, well except to lock/unlock the car and trunk)

- It has a rear camera with sensors.  As my boyfriend has told me, he will fall over laughing if I back into anything.

- It has two memory settings for mirrors and seats, adjusting everything when you press the button.  Since mine is a two-door, I have the added task of pushing the seats forward so people can get in the back seat. These have a one-button system that automatically shifts the seat forward for you and then restores it back to your setting, once the passenger is in.

- I’ve never seen illuminated kick plates until now

I’d highly recommend at least test-driving it.

Need some referrals of people to go see?  Terrence Abraham is the Manager and he is phenomenal.  He worked in concert with Ahmed Eldak (sales consultant) to make sure that everything was prepared by the time I got there, including lining up all the colors available in the model I was looking at so I could choose the color and sign the paperwork, WHICH was already prepared by the time I got there.  Their finance manager, Basher El-Fiky, was just as great, walking me through the lease, the additional options with the lease and being completely honest on which options might make sense for me.  He had me out of there as quick as paperwork can be reviewed and signed.  But, before I left, Ahmed walked me through the highlights of the user guide, showing me all the features of how to run the cockpit.  Had he not done that, I would most likely still be pressing buttons to see what they do

If you are convinced, tell them I sent you.  If not, I will leave you with one last piece of advice.  It’s much easier (and cheaper) to lease a luxury car than to buy one.  Not only am I now an Infiniti convert, I’m also a huge fan of never outright buying another car again.

A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page.  Too lazy to read it?  About halfway through the 1,615 word email, so was I.  The summary: Guy goes to event alone, meets girl who is there alone (at the last minute).  She agrees to a date, gives mixed signals (according to him) and doesn’t return texts or voicemails.  He sends her a long email, in what can only be described as a combo of verbal vomit (anger) mixed with analytical rationalizations for why they should date (denial), repetitive sentences in different forms (confusion/emotional instability/hoping that sentence will change her mind) and honesty about stalking her on Google (insecurity at its finest).

We have all been there.  Internet dating seems to bring out more of this but still, even in a technologically-driven society these things can happen to people we have met in person (some of you know who and what I am referring to) when we least suspect it.  In fact, I’m hearing just as many horror stories about chance meetings as I am Internet “blind” dates.  Thus, I’ve decided to open the “vault” and pull out a good one.

In 2000, I was set up on a blind date by a friend.  She told me that he had graduated from UVA the year before, was on the soccer team and was an Abercrombie model.  She sent me a picture – I was interested.  So he and I started emailing back and forth, and then we started instant messaging each other (the natural precursor to the phone call).  It seemed like we had everything in common.  Thus, after a week of communicating, we made a phone date.  That night, we talked for three hours and still, all signs pointed to “this might work”.  So we set a date to meet.  Now anyone that is from the Northern Virginia area knows that when you live in said area, you assume you will be dining somewhere around there.  He tells me we are going to Clydes and I assume it was going to be in Reston, until he said I should meet him in Rosslyn and we would go together.  Thus, I thought we were headed to Georgetown (logical).  So I drive over (mistake number one).  I park about three blocks away and walk to his place and knock on the door.  This short, wirey-haired, overweight guy with barely-able-to-zip khakis, a pastel plaid Brooks Brothers shirt, argile socks and tassled loafers answers.  I say I am looking for Mark and he says that he is Mark (yes, this is his real name).  I have a brief moment of silence, trying to figure out what to do next.  He tells me to come in and meet his roommate, who of course is the EXACT opposite, yet still doesn’t look like the picture my friend sent me.

So here I am, stuck on this date.  We get in his Explorer and head on  66 WEST. Yep, we’re going away from Georgetown and towards RESTON.  I’m mentally beating myself over the head for not asking which Clydes (mistake number two), although I can only assume he did this because he knows I’d walk in and walk out.

On the way there, Mark is telling me how I am meeting his parents next weekend in Charlottesville and that we are going skiing with them.  He also envisioned us getting married sooner than later.  Internally, I was panicking.  None of this was mentioned during any of our conversations and in fact, he seemed surprisingly normal. Yet in person, the “surprisingly normal” part turned into highly questionable unrealistic expectations in less than an hour.

We make it to Reston and I’m completely freaking out.  I’m trying to think of an exit strategy.  There is no way I could survive an entire night with this guy.  We get to Clydes and I excuse myself to the bathroom to call my best friend.  I tell her to call me back in 15 minutes and pretend that there is an emergency – she agrees.  So I head back out to the waiting area and there he is – looking like an Easter egg in loafers.  I sit down on the bench and no crap, he sits down on top of me.  People were staring, or maybe I was unusually paranoid.  When the hostess took us to our  seats, I had never been so happy to see a waitress.  I was ready to ask her to have dinner with us, nervously laughing  while silently wondering where my friend is and why she wasn’t calling.  So we order dinner and I’m thinking that I’m stuck at least having a meal with this guy.  Then, the phone rings.

My best friend was a dancer-turned-English major.  She always had a way with words, especially highly intellectual ones.  At this very moment, when I need a story, this is what I get on the other end of the line, “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”.  This is met with giggles and me trying to come up with a back story, while telling “dad” that that isn’t funny.   So by the time I’m off the phone, I have it.  I have to go home and watch my sisters because there is an emergency.  By the time I explain this, the food comes and I’m still stuck.  I can’t call my best friend again and tell her that I’m stuck at dinner and no, texting was still not an option “back then”.  So we eat.  I’m desperately trying to come up with topics of conversation that do not involve “our future”.  I’m thinking that since I was getting out of college and he just got out of college that trading stories would be the best way to go.  Sure enough, I relaxed and we steered away from picking out kids’ names until… dinner was over.  He tried to go for dessert but I reminded him I had to get home so we left.  He tried to put his arm around me and I politely started walking farther away.

So we’re driving back to Rosslyn and he literally thought our date went well.  He talked more about seeing his parents next weekend and then he switched topics… to kids.  We were to have two: a boy and a girl.  He had their names picked out but that’s unimportant because I was pretty sure those kids would still need a mother.  He tried holding my hand and I kept shuffling around in my seat so it either looked like I had an attention problem or was extremely uncomfortable.  He didn’t seem to notice.

We make it back to Rosslyn, after what seemed like the LONGEST RIDE back to his place and I asked him to drop me off at my car, to which he declined because “there was a close spot to his house and he would prefer to walk me to my car”.  It’s dark, my car is far away and I had no prior knowledge if he was really sane (my friend is disqualified on this subject now).  But, I wasn’t given a choice.  We walk, mostly in silence, and I see my car a couple blocks away.  I start walking faster, keys in hand.  Once there, I swing the car door in between us and thank him for dinner.  He tries to kiss me and I get in.  And then it occurs to me as I drive away – he is going to follow me.  Sure enough, his black SUV is following me down 66.  So I call my best friend and tell her I am coming over and to make it look like I am coming home.  By the time I make it to her house, I’m a little freaked out he’s going to get to me before I have a chance to get through the door and lock it.  I make it.  Victory!

No, it’s not where it stops.  I had to stop using AIM for a while and I also had to train myself to just delete his emails, as opposed to reading them.  Much like this guy at the beginning of this post, I too got many a lengthy email – many exactly like this.  Except, his end goal for a relationship wasn’t because we had things in common, but instead helping him acquire his trust fund early.  Awesome.

This story isn’t to deter anyone reading it from trying different methods of dating (even meeting someone in person can have implications – that story is too fresh to share) it’s to say that we all have to go through it – some do more than others.  We learn what we like and dislike through trial and error and at best, we have a good story (or two) to share.  Still, I believe there is someone out there for everyone and I do wish him the best.

But, for those new to the world of post-date, cringe-worthy emails, or even the occasional pre-date introductory email, here are some reminders (flags) for running away and not responding:

• Lengthy emails mean three things: over-analytical (will talk in circles and to death), too much time on their hands (aren’t terribly sociable, especially if you get an email like this on a Friday or Saturday night), slightly emotionally unstable (can be mistaken for being in touch with their feelings).
• One sentence emails: They are truly not interested, they use this on every girl and they will NOT make good boyfriends.
• If they spend too much time talking about themselves and don’t include any questions about YOU
• They send you not one, but three emails, post date, within 24 hours, and it usually makes it seem like you were already on a second AND third date (will usually feel like this when you aren’t interested in a second date)
• They start being more “explicit” about what they are “hoping for” on the next date

… and the list can go on.  But what a sane guy would do?  Here is the best, most shining example of an email that gets a five-star rating.  “Hey! I had a really great time with you tonight – loved our conversation and you looked beautiful.  If you are up for it, I’d love to see you again.  Have a wonderful night.”  We dated for three months (I fresh out of college and not really looking for someone).

For the guys out there reading this, paranoid that they are guilty of one (or two) of these infractions, do us ladies a favor and take a break from dating for a bit.  Although we love sharing a good (bad) dating story with our friends, it kills us to have to suck it up and take one for the team.

Okay, so I am not the poster child for model relationships – I’m also probably the last person to give any sort of sane relationship advice (as some of you have seen from previous blog posts).  I admit, when I click with someone, I don’t waste time – I don’t see the point.  Playing games has never been my style and I believe if someone grabs my attention, I explore it – I don’t rationalize it against what everyone else thinks.  I learn through trial and error and it’s shaped who I am and what makes me happy.  BUT and there is a BUT, I am extraordinarily glad I “escaped” my 20s without getting married.  Even more so, I’m glad I’ve made some rational decisions to end relationships when it was time.

An article came out about how more and more people in their early 20s are getting married and divorced within two years.  They cite reasons, such as “he was too immature”, “I thought I needed security”, low self-esteem, etc.  This article should serve as a reminder that even though you have graduated from college, have entered the working world and finally feel mature enough to play “grown-up”, you might not be ready – mentally or financially.  I can tell you that I had a crap ton of lessons to learn in my 20s – it was one of the most difficult decades in my life but also one of the most rewarding.  Call it finding yourself through trial and error – I had serious boyfriends who were bad for me but I stayed anyway, even moving across the country for one of them.  Why?  I was afraid of being alone or not entirely sure of who I was and I felt more validated as a couple.  But then I had a wake up call -  it was time for me to do something for me – get me sorted out as I have only myself to live with for the rest of my life.  So, I moved to San Diego on my own to spend the last two years before my 30s having a blast, being single – something every woman needs to do.  In my opinion, very few people are ready for this type of commitment and everything that comes with it.  While it’s wonderful to feel wanted – you are still living with another human being who comes from their own family, with their own values and own quirks that include how finances, child rearing and even household chores are handled.  You can never expect that someone will change once you’re married – EVER.  This is in addition to the fact that in your 20s, you still trying to find who you are, much less trying to define who you are in a relationship separately, as well as together.  It’s work.  It’s life.  It’s marriage – not movie-quality romance.

So let’s say you are in your 20s and you’re wondering what your 30s would be like unmarried.  The truth: Fabulous.  Why?  You are more confident with who you are.  You realize that those men you wanted to marry that were YOUR AGE in your 20s weren’t anywhere near what you know you deserve (yes, this can also happen later in life as well).  You begin to realize that being in a relationship is not a NEED, it’s a nice to have.  Best of all, you have learned to establish yourself for you – something that is a crucial ingredient in a great marriage.

So what do I say to this?  Learn your lessons up front, get to know yourself, have patience and have fun!  Nothing good comes out of forcing things.

This young lady is brilliant…

Why?  She doesn’t feel ENTITLED to a single thing.  She lives within her means, isn’t trying to impress anyone (other than future job prospects) and is making it work, knowing that in the long term, this will all pay off.

Last night, Zuccotti Park was raided.  I say good.  Between the media and many different types of activist groups, we are allowing the hoopla to entertain us, which only provokes this type of behavior.  (This is in addition to the myriad of tourists who have gone to the park, just to snap pics of “inhabitants”, who look strikingly similar to those who attend Burning Man.)  We’ve allowed a society of mostly young adults (if not by age, then by maturity level), to believe they are entitled to being “saved” from the normal financial responsibilities all of us face (this is just one of many issues that seemed to have cropped up).  They are complaining about mounting student loans, not being able to find jobs, not being able to get credit to pay for things they can’t afford, as well as other issues that may or may not be related.  It’s like a modern-day 1960′s protest except it’s not over war.

Yes, there are a high number of unemployed people in this country (and around the world).  Yes, making money seemed to come easier during the dot.com era and a few years here and there after the fact.  But the new reality is that this no longer exists.  In this decade, it’s more about cleaning up credit and saving.  It’s an unfortunate reality and what should be a scare tactic for a younger generation.  Instead, someone told someone else, who told someone else that protesting until someone saves them is a good idea – that that ambition will get them what they want.  (It also may explain why customer service is “dead” because those that work to make ends meet end up being “punching bags” because someone told someone, who told someone that being rude and demanding things was the way to go.)

The truth is… there ARE jobs – some of these young adults just aren’t going to get one that pays all of their bills at once.  These days, you might need more than one to make ends meet if you are in a load of debt.  Think that’s ridiculous?  Think that everyone should be entitled to only work one job or better yet, someone should just hand everyone a bail out?  Here are some very real scenarios and what people are doing about them.

1. Obama ends the war in Iraq.  I will admit, I’m relieved that people can return to their families – I think it’s a good thing.  Those soldiers endure a lot to protect our freedom.  However, ask those soldiers what they will do when they return and they have not a clue.  Many enlisted to make ends meet, to provide for their families and now, the government does not have a large open head count to support them.  We’re not just talking a few hundred – there are thousands.  These men and women are the epitome of hard-working and so, they will take anything and everything they can to continue to provide – they aren’t protesting.

2. Obama wants to pass a small business bill that will give small business owners a tax break for two years, hoping it will give them incentive to hire more people.  Being a small business owner, my reaction would be to save the cash instead of hiring more head count.  Why?  Because two years is not enough time to assume your business will be that well-established in this economy to thrive on year three.  Instead, us small business owners hustle every day to stay above water – some take on full-time roles, while doing what they can to keep their company alive  – we aren’t protesting.

3.  There are a minority of people who have full-time jobs but are worried about retirement or their savings and so, they take on extra work to make sure they are set.  They aren’t protesting.

If you are one of the “99%” that are complaining about lack of work to keep yourself off the streets, or out of bankruptcy, here are some suggestions:

1. Retail companies are hiring like mad for the holidays.  Apply.

2. Do the dirty work.  Right now, although conditions are not great, migrant workers are working hard to do jobs most Americans cringe at.  Reading the article in this link will give you perspective.

3. The government IS hiring still – just not at the same rate and not at the same pay.  I found it funny when a girlfriend of mine said that in her building, two unshowered “Occupy residents” came in rather rudely and started protesting about the unemployment rate when there was a huge banner out front that said “jobs”.

This is the problem – does every “young adult” expect that they will be given a corner office, or a cube with a window and pay that will get them out of huge college loans, used Ikea furniture and a 20 year-old Toyota?  Sadly, the answer is yes and it’s unclear how it happened.  While everyone makes their own decisions in life, they need to be held accountable for them.  There are people in this country that truly need aid – I do believe that but when you are 100% capable of taking care of yourself (making you blessed in my opinion), you are attempting to steal from those that aren’t as fortunate.  My advice?  Pull up your adult panties and deal with it…. that girl in the picture above did.

Being a fashion writer, I’ve seen more than my fair share of questionable ads, clothing, behavior and the like.  The fashion business has its own unglamorous underworld of “artistic differences” that range from age, to sex, to weight, to height, to even the clothing lines being produced and the list goes on.  As of the last few years, age and weight have been two “hot topics” of concern around the world.  This time, it’s over a Marc Jacobs’ ad, featuring Dakota Fanning and it’s all age.

In an era where everything is sexualized and everyone is hyper-sensitive to this sexualization, Marc Jacobs is under fire for a “strategically placed” bottle on a girl who has already graduated high school.  Right now, the UK is up in arms with this ad and refuses to publish it, basically citing it as under age pedophilia.  Marc is known for a lot of racy ads and “push-the-envelope” work, including his ad for “Bang”, in which he went completely naked on tin foil with only a strategically placed over-sized bottle in the way.  (Note: I say “in the way” because I’m sure there were a few men AND women who would have preferred it to be much, much smaller.)

Still, no one batted an eyelash.  In fact, it was applauded.  Or, take his penchant for dressing in drag, which was the featured photo for my fashion post in July.  Again, it’s called “artistic license” of “eccentricity”.  So when an almost-18-in-February girl, who is fully clothed, holds a bottle two inches too high (or low), is now the highlight of a “scandalous topic”, it seems almost ridiculous.  I understand that Marc said that it was intentional – he likes to push the envelope and stir up controversy, knowing it boosts sales.  But also understand that Dakota has managers, parents and her own conscience that were well aware of this ad and what it represented, before the shoot occurred.  It sounds to me like UK has a bigger problem than just this ad and for that, it’s alarming.  If they are that concerned with what they deem is “pedophilic” in nature, what are they trying to prevent?  Are they having a “challenge” with some of their “residents” in this regard?  This is a country, known for eccentricity by day and an underground, stodgy world at night.  I remember visiting London several years ago and if you have ever been in one of their phone booths, you know what I am talking about.  It’s almost alarming what’s “available” to “fulfill”.  Thus, I could understand the government’s issue with this ad and what it represents while they are trying to “clean up” their country’s image.  However, given that they hold their own fashion week with hundreds of designers, and they encourage “artistic license” (queue Alexander McQueen), and they ban models under the age of 16, this ad presents a moot point. Dakota is above the age minimum, she’s fully clothed in a Marc Jacobs’ dress and she isn’t doing anything suggestive, point-blank. Thus, I have a hard time understanding what the fuss is about.  If you disagree, check out this post of a pre-pubescent girl and what that set off in France.  It pales in comparison.

It was announced this morning that Michelle Duggar is due with her 20th child in six months.  Sigh.  Since kid number 18, I’ve had a problem with this.  Why?  Look, I’m glad that there is a family out there that believes in their faith, is self-sustaining and completely debt-free (thanks in part to TLC).  HOWEVER, for those complaining about global warming, a rapid rate of decline on resources and tax shelters – the members of this family are now your poster children… for all three.  This is in addition to the fact that Michelle, who at 44 struggled with her 19th, should probably lock “it” up and throw away the key.  She once said on an episode that there are certain things about Jim Bob that bother her but she asks herself if it really is something important to worry about and then decides it’s not.  I commend her on that line of thinking – it probably helps keep her sanity – or some semblance of sanity, what with running a football team of kids.   But, all kidding aside (and being as blunt as I possibly can) sexual addiction is an issue.  Now, I’m not one to know anything about the institution of marriage and how often a couple should be “keeping that spark alive” and I am aware of what the Bible says about marriage and certain duties but after NINETEEN kids, one of which was born, via C-section… ONE… you can’t tell me Jim Bob is that turned on by his wife in “that way”… at all.  So is this a true belief and translation of the Bible or that Jim Bob really has that many “needs”?

Not only that but it doesn’t matter what system you have in your household… if you have enough time to get it on to make this happen again, I have one question… Who is taking care of the younger ones when they are up in the middle of the night or running amok during the day?  Are they sedated or are the other children “paying the price” for being born into that family by way of being the care takers?  And, when mom and dad go “missing”, you cannot tell me that one (or more of this brood) isn’t running around the compound, looking for their parents.

While many people will argue with me on these opinions (which they are exactly that), due to the fact that that show, shows the parents as “sound” and their children as “complete angels”… ask yourself about the footage not shown.  What happens when Mr. and Mrs. Duggar go to bed at night?  What do they discuss/argue?  Do you think these kids are actually happy sleeping 6-8 to a room?  What happens when there are so many of them they start sharing beds?  The only word that comes to mind with Mr. and Mrs. Duggar is selfish.

They said they had a “goal” to reach 20 kids.  Is this for ratings?  By the time that 20th one comes into this world and is old enough to graduate college, that poor child will be the last one left in the nest with senior citizen parents who he or she will undoubtedly have to care for, since I can only assume the other children will have football teams of their own at that point.

I believe that children are blessings – they are miracles come to life.  I respect their religious beliefs.  However, there are so many children in this world that do not have a home or parents that created them out of love that instead of selfishly creating more beings in this world, why couldn’t the Duggars consider providing care and love for one that is not their own? It’s something I don’t think they have ever even talked about.  And I’d be curious as to why that has never been an option.

In closing, while it has been extremely easy to pick apart this family for decisions we don’t see as being sound, I do hope that this birth is easier than the last and that they seriously consider “capping it off” at 20.