The Reinvention of Me: What Comes Next

Believe it or not, I have unruly hair.  When humidity sets in, I start wearing a lot of ponytails and using a lot of hair spray.  Otherwise, I’d fit right in with the people of Texas.  Sure, I could get the straightening treatment done to my hair or more cost effectively, I could find the right straightening iron for me.

After years of using ceramic and titanium irons that were cheap (some of which worked well but broke my hair), I finally decided to invest in a good one.  And, from everything I’ve experienced so far, it was a smart move.

GHD is one of the best hair product companies out there today – it’s what salons trust for both hair dryers and straightening irons.  They heat up quick and don’t break or pull hair.  I’ve used it once and I’m already in love!

Even comes with a stylish heat-resistant case!

Part of the Dukan Diet is to make sure you aren’t consuming fatty foods.  The book recommends consuming good-for-you foods, such as non-fat yogurt, non-fat dairy, meats, fish and vegetables.  But, it can be really hard to stay focused… when you have a sweet tooth.  SO  aside from the no-fat custards and cheesecakes, non-fat yogurt with a bit of honey, or ricotta mixes they suggest, I needed to find something that didn’t require effort to make.  It’s when I turned to Red Mango.

Red Mango is some of the healthiest, most tasty frozen yogurt I have ever consumed.  It contains no coloring, no artificial sweeteners and is downright more healthy than most of the stuff you consume in a day.  Don’t believe me?  Check out their nutritional information.

The bonus is when I discovered that they make take home containers.  Yes, it still tastes just as good from the freezer.  I couldn’t be happier that my regular craving for it is now a few steps from me and I feel better knowing I’m maintaining the weight I’ve worked so hard to get at.

There was an interesting article in MSNBC this morning about the negative effects of co-habitating.  They were saying that due to the sexual revolution and the pill, people were more carefree.  They also cite that as of late, more people are co-habitating to offset costs of living alone.

They went on to talk about a couple who LIVED TOGETHER for  FOUR YEARS, got married in a lavish ceremony and were talking divorce within the first year.

Sooo… I’m not a doctor/psychologist/therapist and my views/opinions/observations are purely from my own perspective but there are warning signs here that no one seems to be seeing.  I suggest you read the article before you finish reading this post.

I’ve co-habitated with a couple of men – it’s a fact.  In fact, I am doing so with one right now.  However, after going through this a couple of times, you learn, within the first six month, that it’s either going to work or it’s not.  You have to be honest with yourself.  If you just like playing house and you think you can “tolerate” the other person, then you’re headed down the wrong path.  If you are doing this because it’s cheaper to live with someone than to live on your own, imagine if you two break up.

So here are my quick thoughts on reality checks you should have with yourself:

1. There is no harm in moving in together – just make sure that if something happens, you’re able to stand on your own two feet.  In this day and age, women should be able to take care of themselves.  Relying on someone else only puts a burden on the relationship.
2. Reassess your feelings six months in.  Is he/she marriage material?  Can you see yourself with them for the long haul?  If not, there’s no harm in moving out and moving on… or maybe just moving out.  You shouldn’t continue to live with someone if you “think” it will get better or you “already committed to doing this and you have to see it through”.  You may be saying that this is taking things a bit fast.  Well, if you already moved in with them…
3. Reassess at a year.  If you moved in with your s/o because there was talk of the “next step” and you “just wanted to do this for six months to see if it would work” and there’s still no engagement, you have full rights to have a level-setting expectation talk.  At that point, one of three things happen:  1) There’s an engagement 2) You begin to think you’re just going to hang on a little longer to see what happens 3) You decide to give yourself the respect you deserve and suggest that this situation is too comfortable and that perhaps the relationship isn’t as ready as you thought.
4. Waiting.  So you decide to continue on living together for an undisclosed amount of time.  In this case, the girl in the article lived with her guy for four years before he proposed.  In all my years of attending weddings that were a “grand celebration” of the fact that they finally got married, it has almost always ended in divorce.  Why?  Because planning the wedding gives the bride something to do – something to show she finally has what she wants.  The wedding is all about her – not about love, not about two people committing to each other – it’s showing everyone she finally has the security she thinks she needs to feel validated.
5. The marriage.  Yep – the wedding is over and as Monica from “Friends” once said, “Great, I’m no longer a bride, just somebody’s wife.”  Although that was meant to be funny, you would be surprised how many times I’ve heard variations of this.  You should be excited to look over in the morning, see the ring on the other’s hand and smile that they are yours, not look over and feel sick that you’re “stuck”.

So this leads to “Well, how do you know it’s the right one?”  I would never have been able to answer that properly before but now, I’m about 99.9% sure I can.  It’s simple.

• They are in your head all the time
• Saying “I love you” is something that warms your heart every time you say it and hear it
• You get little butterflies every time you see them
• There are so many moments where you look at them and you just can’t believe they are yours
• You don’t care about wedding formalities – not even about fancy rings – you just want to marry them because that is how much love is swelling up inside
• You can clearly picture your wedding and it always involves a stupid grin on your face and you wanting to just race down the aisle because you can’t wait to be married
• You can look at the other and realize that they have made you a better person
• You feel complete, whole, calm and confident
• You don’t care if you ever go out again, as being with them is just easy and super fun
• You get into an argument and it doesn’t even cross your mind that that argument might “end” things – arguing is natural
• Simply put: It’s just easy

Speaking from experience on both sides of the co-habitating coin, it’s okay to test drive a situation but never be comfortable or settle – stick to what you want.  If that is wedded bliss for the rest of your life, don’t be afraid to be choosy because at the end, it costs a lot less than a divorce.

In a post earlier today, I talked about the DC Charity scene needing a makeover, to which was met with exactly 27 positive emails, saying they were glad I brought up a topic so many are afraid to broach (including four models, 21 attendees and two who didn’t attend but have in the past)… and one blog post, defending their friends, by someone involved with the event.

First, I don’t blame anyone for defending their friends.  I just did it, on behalf of mine.  However, what I would like to call attention to is what was failed to be noted in your post that I included on mine:

1. “For anyone that doesn’t know what Fashion for Paws is, it’s an annual runway event that has raised $2.2M so far (over six years).  It went from a small, humble event to one of DC’s most well-attended, well-known events in the younger DC social circles…” – I believe that was a positive nod to the program.

2. “It was a beautiful event that took place at the Italian Embassy, was well-attended and still in it’s humble beginnings.  It was inspiring – I wanted to help – wanted to raise money for the organization and walk the runway, knowing I had made a difference in some animals’ lives.” – I believe this was also a positive nod to the program.

3. “Yes, these little details are things that I, as someone who has done enough events of all sizes, noticed.  Still, these things happen to every event – it’s through no fault of the organization.”  – Did I assign blame to WHS?

See, the reason why my post came about in the first place was not because of the execution of the event (although those details made for a strong opening) – it was hearing story after story of how VETERAN models were being treated, and then seeing some of the “aftermath”.  This, coupled with my own experiences in some of DC’s other “famed” charities, caused me to re-think how I approach my involvement.  Given that this is my blog, whereby I can express my opinion, I’m going to.  It is not meant in any way to persuade anyone else, whatsoever, to follow along with me.  In fact, I would rather you form your own opinions, as experiences land different for everyone.

Still, I stand by what I said about this scene overall and for that, I will not apologize.  I’m not someone who heard from a friend, who heard from a friend.  I’ve been witness to, as well as directly involved with, situations where some of those that have worked so hard have been treated as though their efforts didn’t matter because someone raised more, or someone put in more effort, etc.

I’ve seen countless articles, posts and videos come out about how great the vendors have been for various events, as well as how great some of the more celebrated volunteers are.  What about those lesser-known?  My point is this – regardless of level of participation, everyone who put in more than their credit card number, deserved equal billing in my opinion.  Even one volunteer can make a huge difference.

Was my post ill-timed, based on Saturday’s event?  Maybe.  But for me, it gave me validation in what I needed, in order to make some decisions about how I spend my time, where I spend my money and what is important to me at the end of the day.  It doesn’t mean I will never support another charity, or even never support one in question.  What it means is I spend just a bit more time contemplating how I do it and when.

“It’s so great to be here, supporting Washington Humane Organization.”

Yes, you read that correctly because according to Marie Osmond, that was the organization we were all there to celebrate on Saturday, April 14th.  We were also there to learn that she was moving and didn’t have anything to wear (so she dressed like she rode in on a motorcycle), that it was okay to plug her own charity (Children’s Network), as well as her new show; and to make sure that Donnie got a shout out.  Oh, and she adopted George – a puppy – right there on stage.  She added that this is why she was here – it was fate.

But I digress….

For anyone that doesn’t know what Fashion for Paws is, it’s an annual runway event that has raised $2.2M so far (over six years).  It went from a small, humble event to one of DC’s most well-attended, well-known events in the younger DC social circles (side note: some very young DC social “inhabitants” were also the dates of some very not-so-young DC men).

I attended my first one in 2009 when I had moved back from San Diego.  It was a beautiful event that took place at the Italian Embassy, was well-attended and still in it’s humble beginnings.  It was inspiring – I wanted to help – wanted to raise money for the organization and walk the runway, knowing I had made a difference in some animals’ lives.  In 2010, in a weird twist, I ended up being Director of Marketing for one of the major sponsors thus, was on-point to help coordinate this event, as well as speak on stage the day of.  It was interesting – being on the far other end of it, seeing how it worked, how the outfits were chosen for models – and even how the models themselves behaved, during the grueling two-month fundraising process.  Needless to say, it takes the glamor out of it because replaced with that is stress, fear of falling, two sleepless months of trying to figure out how to raise money, as well as reading exhausting three-page emails a few times a week from the organization itself, pushing you to make your goal and understand the rules.

I stepped down from my position in late 2010 and didn’t attend in 2011 (for reasons that if you haven’t heard, it’s best not to re-tell).  Thus, I was left with skepticism, as to whether or not I wanted to attend this year.  It was because of one model and one dog that I changed my mind.  So…

I attend.  And what I think many people witnessed was underwhelming. At $250 a pop for VIP, I got to sit down, watch the big projection screens, as well as people eat at their tables in front of me.

Sitting TWO ROWS back in VIP

Why I’m griping – Syzygy Events botched the runway.  If I were a paying table, I’d be incredibly disappointed that even I couldn’t see the dogs.  Why?  For some inexplicable reason, FENCES with faux leaves interwoven, lined the runway that not only had one set of steps, but two that opened up to the photographer’s pit.  It was like watching a fashion show in a fish bowl – so un-personal and begged the question, “Wasn’t this supposed to be about the dogs?” (See the Fashiontographer blog for more on this.)

Add to that the fashions themselves – I don’t actually remember what anyone wore because they upped the tempo so that all 70 models could basically speed-walk down the runway.  This, in turn, caused some of the designers to be named to the wrong models on the screens – no one could keep up.

As for the decor – the neon letters they used – one of them fell off during Marie Osmond’s speech and instead of fixing it so that the pictures would all look correct, the show went on with the word “Fashon” for the rest of the night.

Look close - this is when the "I" fell down.

Yes, these little details are things that I, as someone who has done enough events of all sizes, noticed.  Still, these things happen to every event – it’s through no fault of the organization.  What is at fault…. model/volunteer treatment.

For the last two years, I’ve kept silent.  This year, I can’t.  You see, I have a lot of friends that walk that runway – some of them working hard (volunteering) to make their numbers because it’s an important cause to them.  But what I’ve noticed is the high sense of entitlement that has come from years of doing this event – the “You don’t pay, you don’t play” mentality.  I see it across many organizations that hold events, similar to this one.  It comes from the organization itself, as well as some of those models that feel it’s their right to be there.  Newsflash: It isn’t your yearly “Welcome to society” party.  It’s supposed to be about animals needing love, care and good homes (or insert cause here).  So imagine, to my great dismay, the treatment of some of the models (volunteers), after they have raised $7,000+, contributed to silent auctions AND have followed all model rules by the book, only to discover nasty emails from the staff, telling them (at the last minute) they will be wearing something unflattering, or that they can no longer walk their dog, or that unless they bring in a celebrity, sorry, you don’t get to CHOOSE the aforementioned perks.  In addition, imagine the emails about making numbers, changing deadlines for making those numbers and then realizing all your efforts might have been in vain because what you did for (insert charity here) wasn’t enough.  Yes, this has happened too.  This has happened while an unidentified number of “guest” models, whom were invited to walk the runway because of who they are, did absolutely nothing to raise funds.

Why I’m (close to) over it… no, this has nothing to do with ME walking.  Quite honestly, I’ve done enough events, over the last few years, to know that my focus lies somewhere between me being successful at my career and contributing to others who work so hard for things they want to accomplish in their lives.  This is about the treatment of others when they are working on your behalf, to raise money for a cause they feel is important – whether that it’s important to them or important to you – but that they want to support. This is about the fact that these volunteers take time out of their day to make sure what YOU want to accomplish is successful.  This is also about those that SPEND money to attend said events and expect the quality they are paying for.

This isn’t the only organization I have seen this with.  I’ve personally been involved in a few others, whose Directors (although under a lot of pressure themselves) have treated the volunteers as though they were there to be “used and abused”.  It’s sad, as it ruins it for the rest of the organizations that remain humble in their beginnings, regardless of how large their event might get.  This should never be about popularity (self-promotion), meeting unrealistic financial goals, or even power (being able to tell anyone and everyone what to do) – it should be about those you are trying to support with those dollars, as well as celebrating those large donors that give to those organizations just because.

Now, this doesn’t mean every large organization behaves this way – there are some very well-established, multimillion dollar organizations that treat their volunteers, donors, guests and fundraisers with the respect and thanks they deserve – from event inception, to execution.  There are also some events that may not be as flashy but you can be confident in where the money is going and how the organization is run overall.  It’s not about being seen at “the coolest party”, it’s about making a difference.

This is why I say that DC’s charity scene needs a makeover.  Remove the greed (cut unrealistic goals), scale down the size of the event if need be (so as not to sacrifice quality), be mindful of the fact that the average attendee at a $250 ticket price is spending almost $1000 leading up to the event (ticket price, outfit, micro events included); and THANK EVERY LAST PERSON (genuinely) all the time for every single contribution they make.  Don’t project your stress onto others when they are not paying to be there but are, instead, paying for you to be.

I know this one opinion will probably not make a difference.  Instead, I hope it helps some understand that choosing to attend a charity event for the sake of being there is different than choosing a charity to support.  In the end, it should be about who/what it is helping, not what you’re going to wear and who will be there.

There are sometimes in life that no matter HOW irresponsible I want to be, I can’t bring myself to do it.  Yesterday, I had one of those moments.

You see, I’ve been looking for a nice clutch to go with my outfit for Saturday night – something that I know I’d keep for a long time – something beautiful.  I had been searching for DAYS (no exaggeration) for the perfect clutch and yesterday, I found it.

Yes – one of like 100 handbags Tiffany & Co. makes that I am in love with.  Sigh.  I put it in my shopping bag and stared at the checkout page.  We still needed a few things for the apartment.  Namely, things that would make my life easier so, I closed the site, sad.  So what did this get replaced with?

It would have been better if they came in Tiffany blue.

I give myself an hour off each day to get some things done. Usually somewhere between the realm of 8am – 9am or 11:30am – 12:30pm, I’m cleaning up the apartment, reading the news or in the case of once every two weeks, I grocery shop.  As of late, I have exactly one hour so grocery shopping becomes a timed challenge.  If Supermarket Sweep were still around, I’d win every time, as I can be in and out of there in 30 minutes if I have to be, getting everything on my list. (Side rant: This does not include the Harris Teeter by me that once switched ALL the aisles and NONE of the signs, causing me great duress as I was forced to walk down EVERY AISLE at a slow pace, trying to find what I was looking for.)

But, if you have ever noticed, people push a shopping cart like they drive.  Some can profile slower people at the security line in an airport (trust me, I’m getting better at that), I can profile a driver, pushing a shopping cart.  When reading these profiles, think about how these people drive on the road.

The “Seasoned” Citizen

Yes, everyone has a right to shop.  Not everyone should have the right to drive – especially if your reaction time is slow. It doesn’t matter what time of day, I seem to be met with angry ladies, shorter than my Sicilian great grandmother, wielding a pocket book as heavy as a Buick.  Newsflash – they just don’t care.  At that age, I’m assuming they have earned the right to walk in front of moving cars, take up whole aisles when walking through a grocery store, while shuffling at a record-breaking slow pace, all while stopping abruptly to stare at a can of chick peas, as though they forgot what they were looking for and somehow, if they concentrate hard enough, that can will tell them.

The “Seasoned” Citizen Couple

I guarantee you, they are smiling for two different reasons.

Add a cute little older man to this and you may experience sudden panic, as to what marriage will be like in 40 or 50 years.  Yes, take this older, angry lady and add a clueless man, whom is too busy gazing in my direction to notice that his other half is contemplating swinging her pocketbook, probably full of Velamints and tissues (at least that is what was always in my grandmother’s purse, along with the heaviest wallet I could ever remember holding), if he doesn’t stop staring.  Still, she’s learned restraint over the years and keeps on moving the cart at her pace, mumbling to herself.  I can only imagine the reasons why she made him come along in the first place.

The Newly-retired

So let’s take it back a generation.  Picture a Tuesday afternoon and (mostly) men casually shop through the aisles with a smile on their face.  They aren’t moving terribly slow yet, as they are learning to enjoy their new freedom. Yet, you can tell their wives have unmistakably made them leave the house to “pick up a few things”.  They are slowly realizing they have no particular place to be anytime soon and they are enjoying every minute of it.

A Parent with Kids

Yeah.. there is a large group of them and I’m sure a few of my friends are rolling their eyes at me right now.  Sorry – if your child plans on screaming the entire time, walking shuffling at a slow pace while you try to ignore your child isn’t the way to go – especially for those of us that would rather stand in the frozen foods section all day than listen to it.  Think I don’t know what I’m talking about?  There’s a reason why my mom ENJOYED going to the grocery store alone.  Still, anyone that looks in their direction, is met with a nasty look back.  They already know they are at wits’ end and it’s best to just let them do what they want.

A Parent without Kids

This brings me to my next one.  It’s the one category of shopping cart pushers I am perplexed by.  They walk slow and drive fast.  I have sympathy for them (see note about my own mom) – this one hour out of their day belongs to them.  Thus, it’s the only group I can excuse.

The Working Class

Nope – doesn’t exist in this grocery store – it’s what I will remember fondly of living in Arlington – everyone is in a hurry and everyone shops as fast as they drive.  They have places to be and people to see.  Like me, they are in and out of the store in just enough time to get home, put away the groceries and head back out.

So what am I learning through this suburban experience?

1. I’m afraid of getting old and will probably stop driving by 75 so that some “kid” doesn’t end up blogging about me.  Although at that age, I’ll be blogging about the kid being impatient and what’s wrong with them in today’s world.
2. I will strongly suggest to my future husband that we move to a retirement community (when we’re “of age”) where grocery store shopping is a pleasant outing… for everyone.
3. I’m still pretty sure children aren’t for me.  Neither are minivans.  My sisters and I didn’t grow up with one – four of us were crammed in a Camaro (which explains my unmistakeable love for sports cars).
4. Although it’s not close to the city, I’m learning how to have patience for suburban life – now if only my shopping cart (and car) had an air horn….

For the past couple of months, I’ve started to grow tired of Facebook.  I know, I know… someone who is in social media, seems to have “mastered” it (by some people’s definition) and used to love to post, it’s a shocker.

To see how people use this tool, is fascinating.  The explosion in growth and creativity is amazing.  Still, it’s become a vast platform to support different needs for different people and as such, I’m beginning to re-define the way I use it.

Adding People

You see, all too often, those of us with big social circles, or at the very least, those who understand the importance of building relationships, have a habit of adding someone as a friend (or being added by someone else) just because we met them once, or it was suggested, or worse yet, want to collect as many “friends” as possible to gain “exposure” (I’m guilty of only the first when it comes to adding people).  As time creeps on, your friend list gets larger and you start to realize your newsfeed looks more like want/for sale ads in the back of a newspaper.  It also starts to look like a bulletin board for events you would never attend, as well as someone’s personal diary when they are having a bad day.  Just like many of you, I’ve grown tired of it.

I’ve started to question the true point of Facebook – I don’t want someone adding me so they can use my newsfeed as their way of advertising (it’s spam).  I don’t want someone adding me because they want a professional contact – that’s what LinkedIn is for.  I want someone to add me because a) We’ve met more than once  and b) There is a mutual interest to keep in touch.

Big no-no #1: Fishing for Attention

Maybe I’ve just gotten older or, maybe I just don’t care as much as I used to.  Facebook is not a place to air dirty laundry.  I’m seeing a growing habit with users in DC – those that go on a long rant about who did what to them and how, or, the long laundry list of things that went wrong; or even a cryptic message that is seen as a cry for help – none of this is acceptable.

I say time and again that social media will always be your first impression of the day – you are “selling/marketing” who you are everyday on this site.  What you post speaks volumes.  I’ve seen highly intelligent people have an “off” day and in an instant, people either respond with sympathy or they get completely turned off.

Next time you want to do this… imagine yourself walking into a room with every single one of your “friends” present, you stand on a platform and deliver your message to ALL of them.  Is this something you would do in real life?  If the answer is no, I suggest not using Facebook as a platform either.

Big No-No #2: Your To-do List

The other use of Facebook I am highly conscious of: Sending out my “to do” list.  There’s no need. It’s one thing to talk about doing things out of the ordinary – experiences. It’s another thing to let everyone know your household chores, what errands you ran, etc.  I can understand reading it back and feeling a sense of accomplishment but doing it continuously brings a sense of annoyance.  Sure, many other people have similar days and it certainly can bring a sense of camaraderie but I suspect not many people will say, “Hey.  It looks like you vacuumed today – so did I!  Let’s have a ginormously long conversation thread about it.”

Again, stand on this same proverbial platform (mentioned in #1) and imagine rattling off your list.  Unless you’re in a like-minded group, chances are, you wouldn’t do it.

Big No-No #3: Posting Slutty Pics

Okay, so everyone’s tastes are different – I’ll give you that.  But whether you are a photographer, a normal single woman (I rarely see taken women do this) or a club promoter, it looks trashy to post photos of this kind.  (This is when I start questioning my “friends”.) Sure, it’s meeting your goal of gaining “attention” but let’s be honest, for professional reasons or not, is it sending the right message for you personally?  (See also every article on people eventually running for public office or enter into some high-profile job and what happens when they partake in these activities.)

Big No-No #4: Building a Network

I’m going to just say it.  This should be NUMBER ONE on my list.  Although listed under the heading “Adding People”, it’s worth its own mention.

I once read on Facebook that someone was blocked by Facebook for adding too many people.  He then complained about how he was trying to build a professional network.  THIS IS  WHAT LINKEDIN IS FOR!!!!!!  Unless I know you, I quite honestly have no reason to support your business.  I know, it’s harsh and people have to start somewhere.  Why I am so against this – it’s impersonal.  You see a friend request, you add them and not so much as a personal thank you, or at least a fair warning that you will see a ton of updates from them on things you know nothing about/care to know.

If you are a habitual user of this, imagine yourself walking into room of strangers and going up to each and every one of them, asking nothing else but “Will you be my friend?”.  I don’t suspect you would do that.

Things I can live without but are part of life: Child Rearing

I’m not a mother and I suspect I may never be one.  Therefore, I don’t understand the fascination with child routines, child illnesses, etc.  I have many friends who have children and I think it’s a wonderful thing – I’m happy for them.  However, there is a huge part of me that believes there should be a “Parentbook” – something entirely separate from Facebook that can allow parents to talk about their potty training experiences, vomit, sharing dirty diaper pics (yes, I saw one once), etc.

What are acceptable things: pictures, videos and funny stories. Facebook is a universal language and although culture sometimes dictates what is posted – pictures, videos and funny stories are three that resonate globally.

Things I can live without but are part of life: Pushing Agendas

Especially in DC, pushing agendas is a part of life.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion and beliefs – and I do as much as I can to respect that.  This is why you rarely see me chat about religion, politics, or anything else that causes a major divide.  I don’t need one more thing in my day to debate – I already have enough on my plate with my work and other projects.  Still, I see post after post about WHO I SHOULD vote for, what charity I SHOULD support, which club I SHOULD attend and finally, which new Facebook group I SHOULD be a part of.  Call me stubborn but the more someone pushes, the less inclined I am to join/partake.

Redefining What I Want

Yes, I sound like a major, angry b**ch – I’m fine with that.  I’ve just re-assessed what makes sense for me and what I want out of this tool.  As a result of this thought process, I deleted 316 “friends”.  These are people I’ve either never met, or only met once.  They are people who I’ve had no interaction with in the last few months and probably won’t any time soon.

My new reason for Facebook?  Keeping in touch with actual friends from around the world, when pictures and a quick status update, or a note that a new blog post has been posted, is easier than an email.

Facebook should never replace face-to-face communication.  It should be used to update those we care about when face-to-face communication isn’t possible.  It should never be used as a tool to hide behind and certainly never be used to gain popularity.

For me personally, I’m redefining how I use it to fit MY needs.  What are yours?

Dan Kim, Founder and CEO of Red Mango, turned me on to it.  Each day, I’d get his posts with strikingly beautiful images of fashion, photography and things that just make the world smile.  After a few weeks of this, I decided to join what millions have already discovered: Pinterest.

Pinterest is a place for people to visually display, comment on, repin and like photos and videos of things that interest them – no status updates, no messaging, no long soliloquies to read.  Thus, the uses are endless.  I’ve seen this tool used for shopping “wish lists”, idea/product generation, design inspiration, reminders, recipe sharing and good old collaboration on just about anything (just to name a few).  Below are my current boards – some are filled in (probably too much) and others not at all (not yet anyway).

• Michael Kors
• Bling
• Things That Make Me Smile
• My Style
• SS12
• Dream Vacas
• Ingenious Innovation/Invention (I3)

What do you use Pinterest for?

When I was 17, my parents handed me the keys to my mom’s 1990 Chevy Lumina (before the days of keyless entry and just two years after clear coat was introduced).  It was fully loaded for that time period.  Why she wanted it: it was the pace car in Days of Thunder.

Not the actual one I owned but the exact model.

Well, in 1997 an elderly lady T-boned me and the car was rendered totaled.  To replace it, I was bought a brand new Ford Escort ZSX in red.  Although I had a heavy foot, I learned that red is not the color to own if you don’t want to get caught speeding.

Again, not the actual car I owned but the exact model.

Three years later and I noticed the paint was cracking on the hood.  I also noticed that the car was actually assembled in Mexico.  Not that there is a direct correlation but it was enough for me to beg my dad for a new car.  Being that we were (sort of) still a Chevy family and had been going to the same dealership for 20 years, he helped buy my 2001 Chevy Cavalier Z24 (“The Ferrari of Cavaliers” my friend once dubbed it).

I actually loved this car – it came with a CD player… and keyless entry   I loved this car until I moved to Seattle and it did something weird – at high speeds (55 MPH+) the gas tank would cut out and I’d have to coast it to the side of the road and restart the engine.  It was then I decided I was done with American-made cars. (Side note: Most “American-made” cars are still partially made in other countries so I don’t feel totally guilty pulling away from buying only American-made.)

And so, in 2004, I said goodbye to cheaper car payments and hello to foreign-made luxury brands.  My entry point into this world was a 2001 Lexus IS 300.  It was quite literally the perfect car.  I’ve not seen something truly perfect come out of Lexus since.  And, after getting the brakes replaced, found out some more interesting things about this car: The Polish movie director that once owned this in West Hollywood had imported it straight from Japan with a Japanese racing engine (this explains how quick it was).  I drove this thing from Houston, TX to San Diego, CA and then in 2008, back to DC.  I put over 100,000 miles on it and probably could have kept running it.

But true to form, I decided to sell it, in favor of something newer with less miles.  Okay well, I wasn’t really in the market, per say, but decided to poke around.  I went to Lindsay Lexus of Alexandria and there it was – the perfect car for me – my 2006 Mercedes SLK 350.  Clearly still in San Diego mode, I thought that this car would be perfect (side note: although (wrongfully) driven in snow, I must have had a death wish) – warm days with the top down, fully loaded with everything I could hope for and just the perfect new “best friend” to take everywhere.

Until… late 2010 when a major problem happened with it, and then I needed new tires every 20,000 miles, and oh, the brakes that needed to be replaced happened to require the most expensive brakes on the market.  That. Was. It.  While I was almost willing to continue to suck up the cost of owning something that brought me so much joy, my superhero of a boyfriend let me borrow his Infiniti G37 Xs and from there, I was hooked back on Japanese-made cars.  Thankfully, he recognized my quick love of it and talked me into considering a trade-in with a lease just a few days later.  Given the high cost to drive a dream car, I decided it was probably best to put me in something a bit more practical, less expensive and definitely more reliable.

Thus, all negotiated on my behalf, Infiniti of Tysons agreed to buy my Mercedes at my pay off amount and put me in a fully-loaded 2012 G37X coupe for $200 less than what I was paying previously.  I showed up at the dealership, picked the color I wanted  (from what was available) and signed the paperwork.

In case you’re looking for a brand new car to lease – something that’s fast, smooth and a techie’s dream, here are a few things about the car:

- It’s 330 hp but you wouldn’t know it. I’ve caught myself looking down at the speedometer, wondering how I got from 0 – 50 so quickly and oh crap, it’s a 35 MPH speed zone.  It’s also quiet… until the turbo sound kicks in when you step on the gas (refer back to heavy foot).

- It has XM, CD, radio, iPod, Bluetooth streaming and digital music upload options.  It also has 7 Bose speakers.  People who have ever been around me, know how much I love my music and at concert-sound levels

- It has the best navigation I’ve seen, including letting you know where floods and gale force winds are (about a 25 mile range).

- It has a touch button start – no need for keys anymore (okay, well except to lock/unlock the car and trunk)

- It has a rear camera with sensors.  As my boyfriend has told me, he will fall over laughing if I back into anything.

- It has two memory settings for mirrors and seats, adjusting everything when you press the button.  Since mine is a two-door, I have the added task of pushing the seats forward so people can get in the back seat. These have a one-button system that automatically shifts the seat forward for you and then restores it back to your setting, once the passenger is in.

- I’ve never seen illuminated kick plates until now

I’d highly recommend at least test-driving it.

Need some referrals of people to go see?  Terrence Abraham is the Manager and he is phenomenal.  He worked in concert with Ahmed Eldak (sales consultant) to make sure that everything was prepared by the time I got there, including lining up all the colors available in the model I was looking at so I could choose the color and sign the paperwork, WHICH was already prepared by the time I got there.  Their finance manager, Basher El-Fiky, was just as great, walking me through the lease, the additional options with the lease and being completely honest on which options might make sense for me.  He had me out of there as quick as paperwork can be reviewed and signed.  But, before I left, Ahmed walked me through the highlights of the user guide, showing me all the features of how to run the cockpit.  Had he not done that, I would most likely still be pressing buttons to see what they do

If you are convinced, tell them I sent you.  If not, I will leave you with one last piece of advice.  It’s much easier (and cheaper) to lease a luxury car than to buy one.  Not only am I now an Infiniti convert, I’m also a huge fan of never outright buying another car again.