The Reinvention of Me: What Comes Next

Me as a baby with my mom

My mom is a saint – seriously.  She had four girls and somehow, managed to live through hair pulling, temper tantrums, clothes-stealing and other seemingly diva behavior.  All she wanted was for us to get along.

Us in 1989

She was a Girl Scout leader, an avid supporter of our dancing and cheerleading activities, and while on vacation, loved to take us on what we affectionately described as “death marches” or long hikes/walks.  During the summers, she wanted us to be well-rounded.  We spent many a day outside but also spent many a day at summer camps, day programs at the library and of course, workbooks – doing school work on non-school time (we dreaded the days it was raining).

Still, through all of that, she managed to always make sure we were taken care of – taking us in when we needed support, providing us tough love when we needed a “kick in the pants” and giving us  encouragement to be whomever we wanted to be.

SURPRISE!

So this year, we decided to surprise her, more so than any other year in my 34 years of existence.

Surprise #1: My step dad flew two of my sisters in from California, so that they could surprise her Friday evening.  By Saturday night, she was still in the dark about the activities we had planned (kudos to my sisters for being able to hold a secret, as I vaguely remember them not being able to keep other secrets ).

Surprise #1.5: On Sunday morning, all dressed up, we accompanied my mom to church – something she hasn’t seen in years – all four of us, all dressed up and actually going – to church.  When we do go to church together, we always joke that she’s going to threaten to separate us if we talk too much. Good thing we had to take up two separate rows because true to form, Ashley and I don’t know how NOT to talk.

Surprise #2: When we returned, our limo awaited us.  Mom’s grin widens, followed by, “Nichole!  Can you afford this?”  (I patiently remind her how old I am and that yes, I can afford this.)

(Special plug: Chariots for Hire is a GREAT limo company!)

Onto surprise #3: We were heading to Bourbon Steak for lunch.  On our ride down to Georgetown, we sipped sparkling cider and told childhood stories that once infuriated my mom (although payback was in the form of telling our friends’ moms, which in turn told my friends and somehow, it was playground gossip) but now, she found funny (go figure).  I’d like to share some of said tales now:

Tale #1: The time my sister Ashley and I called 911 and hung up.  Yep – the whole fleet showed up and surprised my mom in her long t-shirt and underwear.  Law enforcement:1 Kids: 0 Mom: 12

Tale #2: Using our sister Cassie as bait on road trips to get mom and dad to stop so Ashley and I could use the restroom for the 30th time.

Tale #3: Using our baby sister as bait so Ashley and I could acquire additional snacks when we were home for the summer.

Tale #4: Cassie pulling every available toy (within toddler reach) off the shelf, knowing mom was going to yell at Ashley and I for making a mess.

Tale #5: Making Cassie cry for no other reason than she drove us crazy.

Cassie, Alex, Ashley and mom

When we arrived at Bourbon Steak, we sat down to a lovely three-course brunch, regaling more tales of our youth, conversed about plastic surgery (we’re old enough now), our friends that are married with kids (still don’t feel old enough for that) and somehow, got on the discussion of Lady Gaga and Madonna (yes, most conversations end up being random with no natural progression from topic to topic).  By the time lunch was over, we were full and ready for our next destination – the movie theater.

Surprise #4: My mom grew up watching Dark Shadows – she said everyday after school she raced home to see the show and that it was so exciting that not only did they make a movie, but that Johnny Depp was playing the lead.  So, off we went to see the movie. To make it more fun I (yes, I know it’s illegal) bought enough boxed candy at the store for everyone to have their favorite.  It was a wonderful movie and a great time!

Shortly after, the limo picked us up to take us home, with mom still all smiles from what she calls “the Mother’s Day I’m going to brag about all day tomorrow”.

Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom in the world!  Next year, I guess I’m gonna have to “one up” it with a trip.

Over the last week, some really fun and amusing posts have come out.  SO – you are welcome for the Friday distraction!

Amusing Cards

Links

• 50 People You Really Wish You Knew in Real Life
• This is What Happens When You Photoshop Celebrities into Your Holiday Party
• 12 Ways to Achieve the Very Best Glamour Shot
• 16 Montages I’d Love to See

Fun Videos

Fun with Legos!

“You have got to be f&%$ kidding me!”  Is what came out of my mouth, as I sat there in complete and utter disbelief.  I knew this relationship was something special – something very different – but to discover this… it took weirdness to a whole new level.

A girlfriend of mine called me this morning on her break to tell me she was thinking of joining Match.com.  Yes, there are match.com virgins out there, who have hesitated in joining the phenomenal number of people who have tried it.  Her reasoning – she was terrified.  She, like so many others, heard countless horror stories of bad dates, no-shows, weird emails and weird behavior.  She considered it a melting pot for the weird and unusual, for which you have to loathe yourself, in order to participate.    BUT… being that one of her New Year’s Resolutions was to “try new things”, she felt that this qualified.

And so, we chatted for the next 3o minutes about my experience, weighing the pros and cons of why she should/should not do this.  I told her a couple of stories and in the middle of one of them, I stopped and said, “You know what, I still have all my electronic journals.  Let me see if I can find a good story or two to send you.”  While I was doing that, she asked me about when I stopped (2003), why I stopped (met someone) and if I’d ever do it again, pending (god forbid) something happened (no).

Not much was there, in terms of stories, as it appeared most of what I had were fragmented or some files looked like they were deleted (looking back now, I’m sure an ex “magically” got hold of them).  But what was still there caused me to stop, go completely silent, with my mouth wide open.  My girlfriend asked if I was still on the line and what I uttered was what appears in the first line of this post.  Of all posts to still be in existence… That’s right… my amazing, wonderful man and I chatted on match.com NINE YEARS AGO.  Granted, he has a common name, so yes, it could have been anyone, until I read the part that described him.  Yep, it was him. I couldn’t can’t believe it.  It felt like a weird out-of-body experience, in which I was peeking on someone else’s life.

In keeping the post as private as possible, I will only say that looking back nine years ago, it never would have worked.  I still didn’t have the confidence to believe that he would be someone I deserved.  Today, I’m blessed to have him in my life (we both deserve each other in the best ways possible).  Still, this was foreshadowing that I didn’t even see coming.  Why? Look at the timeline:

2003 – We meet on match.com but never go on a date

2010 – We are introduced, via a mutual co-worker, over email/Facebook.  We keep in and out of touch.  Neither of us realizes we have chatted before.

Towards the end of 2011 – I’m on Facebook, he’s on LinkedIn and both of us are reminded at the EXACT SAME TIME that the other still exists, i.e. “People you may know”, “See what Nichole is up to” (respectively).  He adds me as a friend, we chat all day and go out that night.

The rest is history….

SO… although no one truly knows what fate has in store for them, remember that when things are supposed to happen, they happen – and in the weirdest of ways.  What transpired almost an hour ago has not only caused my girlfriend to join match.com, but also to look into other dating sites as well.  (Disclaimer: I still do not condone the use of those sites, unless you’re ready to write a book, full of shocking tales.)

This just goes to show that no matter where you are and what you are doing, you never know when your worlds (or previous versions of you life) will collide.

Yesterday, I posted a brief story about a girlfriend’s mother of mine and some news that rocked the entire family’s world.  With permission from my girlfriend, I am allowed to tell the whole story but without the names.  She hopes that this story will help other couples seek counseling before marriage (whether religious or not) or at least have honest discussions about the future they are coming together to build.

My girlfriend is beautiful.  She also has two beautiful children with a husband that dotes on his women constantly.  She came from a family where their world was nothing but a loving, beautiful mother and an incredibly doting dad.  Two days ago, her entire perception of family, marriage and trust was shattered.

Her mother was 19 and her father was 21 when they were married.  They were high school sweethearts – she a freshman and he a senior when they met.   He got a scholarship to a college 1500 miles away and she still had three years to go.  Still, they wrote each other almost everyday, chatted on the phone almost everyday and visited each other as much as they could.  According to my girlfriend, her mother would tell stories of their younger years, as though it was something straight out of an old-fashioned romantic movie – she even still had all the letters.  When her mother graduated from high school, her father proposed, right outside the auditorium.

By the time her mother was 19, she was married, with her father having one year left in college.  So, she moved 1500 miles away from her family.  They lived in a small apartment off campus – with a hot plate.  He worked and went to school, to provide for his wife.

When he graduated, they moved back east to be closer to their families.  Soon enough, at the age of 20, my friend’s mother gave birth to her.  Two years later, a little brother arrived.  They had a “perfect” house, on a “perfect” street, with friendly neighbors.  Her mother never worked, but that’s because her father insisted that she didn’t have to – that taking care of the children was a full-time job and why add to the stress in her day?  He would bring his wife flowers once a week, he was home for dinner almost every night (except for occasional business trips).  At Christmas, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, even Easter, he spoiled his family.  Their vacations were different each year – sometimes the beach, sometimes Disney World, sometimes Europe and sometimes the Bahamas (as they got older).  He worked hard and was well-respected.  She made sure to keep her appearance as “healthy” as possible, as it was the least she could do for her wonderful husband.

As a family, they were always close – talking about their days at the dinner table, each taking a turn.  They supported each other at soccer games, cheerleading competitions, dance recitals, etc.  They had a lot of love to give each other.   They lived this perfect, beautiful life for 39 years.

Fast forward to two days ago.  My girlfriend’s father is dying of cancer – it could be at any time at this point.  Two days ago, he let his still beautiful wife know that she wasn’t the only woman in his life.  For 20 years of their marriage (on and off), there were different women.  Some of these different women are listed in his will.

Imagine the heartbreak.  Her mother didn’t say a word – she couldn’t.  It was hard to digest what was just said.  She just looked at him, eyes blank.  My girlfriend was there when this happened.  She said her reaction was different  – she started crying hysterically.  She felt lied to, and even cheated on and all of a sudden, started to question her own perfect marriage.  She took her mother home shortly after and neither of them have returned to the hospital.  They are in the process of trying to understand if they can sell my girlfriend’s childhood home, before he passes, to help her mother move on with her life.  They aren’t sure they will attend or even arrange, the funeral.  My girlfriend’s brother has been talking with their father’s side of the family to see what can be done.  They, too, are shocked.

Facebook

Even telling just a brief part of this story was met with a barrage of comments on Facebook, as I was led to question if every marriage eventually involves cheating.  The answers varied and so did the age range.  Keeping names out of it, here are some of the comments posted (includes age range):

“My personal, and probably completely inaccurate opinion about this is that people were only meant to stay with one person their entire lives when the average life span was 40 years. Realistically though, people change over time and the odds of a couple changing in ways that compliment each other and make continuing a relationship something they both want to work at are slim.” – early 40s

“I think marriage too is a social construct. Evolutionary principles seem to dictate a different construct.” (late 20s)

“I don’t think it’s unusual to go either way. I know plenty of people who have been married a good long time without cheating. Unfortunately, I know some who can’t be with just one person either.” (early 30s)

“So sad! Honestly, its so hard to know who you can trust. I have seen some amazing marriages- true partnerships and the deepest friendships ever. But I have also seen the most trusting people betrayed so deeply it scars them for life. I think it takes lots of prayer and a thorough examination to determine if you are prepared for that step (or just caught in the idea of being married). It is no one else’s responsibility to complete you and understanding that and taking responsibility for your own peace is half the battle.
And I think having an open communication relationship helps. *truth talks if you will- openly honest talks with no consequences tied to them. ” (early 30s)

“No, they do not. While my ex an I divorced, we still loved each other and never worried about infidelity. We were both faitful and happy to be so. She was a great woman in many ways, and faithful to the core, as am I. I have many, many friends who are faithful, and I feel hurt and shame for the ones who aren’t. Don’t judge what would happen to you by other people’s wrongs. There are too many other examples of good marraiges to show that infidelity is not the norm. With great risk comes great reward. Risk it, it will be worth it. I have dropped friends through the years because they were unfaithful. They are not the type of people that I want to be friends with. I can only tell you for sure that marraige, love, and fidelity are worth it all.” (mid-50s)

“Marriage can be hard. I have been married for almost 11 years and we have had great times but there are also hard times. I can’t talk for anyone else, but we look at our marriage as a friendship first and foremost. Jeff is my best friend and I would never ever want to jeopardize that. Like you said Nichole if Jeff would ever cheat or vice versa it’s the secrets and the break of trust that would hurt the most.” (mid-30s)

“My personal experience with marriage and dating is that yes it happens WAY too often. My hope is that the good people don’t have it happen to them, but I’m a good person, loving and attentive and it’s happened to me w/ my ex husband and w/ ex boyfriends (ALL OF THEM)!!! I still hold out hope bc of my parents being married and faithful going on 43 yrs now

Also I really truly believe, God MUST be the tie that holds the marriage/relationship together.” (mid-30s)

“Couple aspects of this to consider. Does *everyone* cheat in their marriage – absolutely not. I think you need to take this one step further, and explore the “why” behind the cheat. Couple outliers or anomalies that need addressed, and tossed off this bell curve – those that can’t *not* cheat. Like an alcoholic that can’t *not* drink. Won’t get into the various causes or contributing factors – just need to recognize that there are people – for whatever reason – that are driven to do this.

Marry “the one” – infidelity is a non-issue. Just my .02c” (mid-30s)

“no we do not” (mid-60s)

“no” (mid-40s)

Given that I, myself, have always believed in the commitment of marriage, this blindsided me too.  To me, marriage can be a beautiful thing – yet incredibly hard to work at, at times.  I believe you have to know who you are marrying and like one of the commentors above said, not settle.  Still, I also believe that people change over time and the earlier in life you choose to marry, the higher the risk of marrying the wrong person.  That doesn’t mean this is every single case.  There are plenty of men and women, of all ages, that just want to settle down – they want to feel secure with themselves and thus, it results in a whirlwind affair.

Call me old-fashioned (and possibly slightly naive) but I believe in finding someone I can communicate with on every level.  My late grandmother’s wisest words were, “Find someone you can talk to because at 80 years old, that’s all you have.”

So let me throw this out to the universe: Do you think it’s possible to have a long-lasting marriage without infidelity?

My other half and I are usually vomit-worthy.  It’s that kind of relationship where when the mood strikes us (more often than not), we will surprise the other with little gifts, notes or kind gestures.  This past weekend, we traded gifts that signified just a little bit more than a “just because” – something that could serve as an everyday reminder that what we have is far different than anything we have had previously and that we are both vested in this relationship, as well as each other.

Jason Mraz‘s new song “I Won’t Give Up” is played on repeat in our home.  He also happens to be my boyfriend’s favorite artist.  After doing some careful research and shopping around, I was able to snag this for him:

What he gave to me… well, I was speechless (which is rare).  He knows my favorite designers are Michael Kors, Tory Burch, David Yurman…  (the list is long so I’ll stop there).  He said that he spent a lot of time, trying to find the perfect gift and something that hadn’t even been put on display yet, ended up being the perfect gift.

Yes, it’s David Yurman and I know how lucky I am.  In fact, I haven’t taken it off, since I got it.

Some might say it’s not the gift that matters.  You’re right – it’s not.  It’s the thought.  To us, these had a deeper meaning – each signifying something that is special to us only – something no one else would understand.

Regardless if you have the means to afford gifts, you should definitely always remember why you got into your relationship in the first place.  It’s important for the other to remember (even in little ways) how special they are to you.  Even little things like doing the dishes, making dinner, leaving a little handwritten note, make a huge difference in a relationship and go a long way towards more happiness and less frustration.  Because at the heart of every human being… we all just want to be appreciated.

Last year, for the first time, I participated in Luke’s Wings Fashion Takes Flight – a fundraising fashion show that included real members of the military, modeling the latest collections from Saks Fifth Avenue (Tysons Galleria), Aram, Ella Rue and more.   (Video below and recap can be found here.)

I also wrote about why this organization matters so much to not just me, but the soldiers and their families as well.

This year, we have even more reason to celebrate, as Luke’s Wings has hit some major milestones, not just making this an annual must-attend event, but also a celebration.  In the last year, Luke’s Wings has had some major accomplishments, including (but not limited to):

• Raising $32,000 at the 3rd annual Fashion Takes Flight
• Receiving a $300,000 grant
• Partnering with the Rumsfeld Organization
• Receiving a donation from Arnold Schwarzenegger
• Receiving countless donations and accolades from generous donors and sponsors for their tireless work
• Having brought hundreds of families and soldiers together

This is no longer just a local charity – it has gone national.  It has gained the interest of politicians, other military organizations, military leaders, government leaders and many many troops across the world.  While you may hear of some of the glitzier things, what you don’t see is the hard work the supporters of Luke’s Wings put in behind the scenes, including many trips to military hospitals, fundraising meetings, meet and greets, attending countless networking events, as well as making sure some of these soldiers are reconnected to their loved ones.

You see, it’s no longer about the “who’s who” in the DC social scene supporting a local charity -  it’s the “who’s who” in the national military, government and political scenes that are gaining traction – and fast.  Luke’s Wings is a fantastic “connector” that allows these two worlds to collide for a common goal: to make sure that those that are protecting our freedom are taken care of, giving us all an opportunity to thank them for allowing us to continue to live in a country where freedom is what we stand for.

As such, a veteran volunteer to the organization, Kristen Murdock (USNA), will be walking the runway her final time, before she heads back to Afghanistan for a year.  If for any reason to attend Fashion Takes Flight this year, give her a proper send off – thank her for her hard work, both in protecting us, as well as giving back to soldiers that are less fortunate.  Details below:

This Year’s Fashion Takes Flight (Official Press Release)

Luke’s Wings is pleased to announce its 4th annual runway fundraiser, Fashion Takes Flight, on February 4th, 2012 at Nationals Park! Join us for cocktails, and an exhibition of some of the District’s finest threads modeled by our servicemen and women as part of our fourth anniversary celebration and 2012 kick-off campaign.

With sweeping panoramic views of the stadium on one side and two story windows overlooking the river and monuments on the other, in the Stars and Stripes VIP Lounge, Luke’s Wings supporters will enjoy Peroni beer, specialty cocktails by Van Gogh Imports crafted specifically for Fashion Takes Flight and gourmet hors d’oeuvres. Come mix and mingle among DC’s most fashionable, in one of the most unique venues in our nation’s capital- Nationals Park! A private tour of the dugout and batting cages will also be available to all attendees.

Over the years, the popularity of Fashion Takes Flight has grown, as attendees watch models and military service men and women ‘take flight’ in a swank, high energy runway exhibition highlighting cutting edge fashion by some of the District’s freshest new talent. Philanthropists and fashionistas alike come together to support an organization that aims to assist the families of those who serve.

Special guests include Deejay Neekola and our fabulous MC Natasha Barrett! Amazing styling by PR@Partners, Megan Riddle Make-Up, Blend, and the runway collections of some of the best local runway talent DC has to offer, including Nam Nguyen and Walish Gooshe!

After an amazing evening of supporting our wounded warriors overlooking the baseball field from the Stars and Stripes VIP Lounge, you are invited to join us at Lincoln for an Americana After Party.

Event Hosted by: Charlotte Jarrett, Kristen Murdock, Nichole Devolites, Mackenzie Miles, Lindsay Kin and Fletcher Gill.

Event Details:
February 4, 2012
VIP Reception (includes reserved seating) 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm
Open Reception – 8:00 pm – 9:00 pm
Fashion Takes Flight – 9:00 pm – 11:00 pm
After Party at Lincoln – 11:00 pm – 2:00 am

Step Right Up, and get your tickets HERE

TICKETS:
VIP: $135
Includes:
·         VIP cocktail reception with event hosts, models, honored guests, government leadership, sponsors
·         Exclusive access to the VIP Lounge. Lounge includes private, heated balconies overlooking the baseball stadium
·         Reserved Seat for runway show
·         Gourmet fare
·         Passed Champagne
·         VIP gift bag
·         Free Parking
·         Invitation to our exclusive after-party at Lincoln

General Admission: $85
Includes:
·         Open bars
·         Gourmet fare
·         Access to fashion show
·         Free Parking
·         Invitation to our exclusive after-party at Lincoln

MEDIA NOTE: All media attendees who are interested in covering the event must register by Thursday, February 2, 2012.  Please register by emailing our Public Relations Director, Mackenzie Miles at publicrelations@lukeswings.org with your name, title, and publication.

In my Washington Life fashion post on January 12th, I mentioned Ace Hotel‘s partnership with Uslu Airlines, creating a nail color exclusively for the two.  Being the nail polish-loving female I am, I purchased it… along with a surprise for my boyfriend.  It turns out, Ace Hotel’s store is filled with unique and chic items for sale, including vintage guitar strings and guitar picks (something my boyfriend LOVES).  When they arrived last night, I was impressed by the packaging – recycled fabric, tied with recycled twine.  Check out the pics below:

How the little packages arrived

The nail kit unwrapped

Love the vintage feel of the guitar picks and strings packaging

I guarantee you, these strings will never leave the packaging

From time to time, I get many questions about dating in DC – how I do it, how I manage to find relationships (when some people can’t find dates), and how I bounce back from a breakup so quickly.  I always hesitate on giving advice, mainly because everyone is different.  What works for you might not work for someone else.  I always  find it amusing when I get out of a relationship and the single people give me advice on being single and when I get into a new relationship, couples (who you can tell are seemingly not doing well because the happy ones only offer words of happiness for you) are giving you advice on dating.  Let me be clear before I continue on: This. Isn’t. My. First. Rodeo.  In a town full of hopeless romantics, disguised as cynics, let me be the first to say that none of us should be offering unsolicited advice, as we all have dated a lot, searching for something that may or may not really exist within the other person we’ve pinned our hopes on.  With that being said, since so many of you ask, here are my top 20 guidelines I’ve compiled from myself as well as others, of things that work for ME:

1. Like my grandmother always said, “Make sure you can talk to the other for hours because when you’re 80, that’s all you will have.”

2. A friend of mine (who will remain nameless) recently said, “If the first thing that comes out of your mouth about a new man is the amazing sex you are having, it’s not a relationship”.

3. Another girlfriend of mine had a REALLY great piece of advice that stuck, “He doesn’t have to go to church but he should believe in something.  It means he believes in something higher than himself.”

4. If you want someone who is attractive, in-shape, successful, etc., you, yourself, need to be that.  Don’t even think about committing in a relationship until you have achieved (a varying degree) of what you are looking for.  This ties to number 5.

5. Confidence is everything.  When you can carry/take care of yourself, it’s sexy to a man and much easier to enjoy a relationship BECAUSE….

6.  You don’t NEED a man, he’s a “nice to have”.

6b. But also remember… yes, there will be men/women hotter and YOUNGER than you, but there is a reason why your other half chose YOU – never forget that.

7. How to bounce back from an ended relationship – it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to need time to yourself or to not want to be alone for a BIT BUT….

8. DON’T DWELL!!!!!  Really, everything happens for a reason in this world and it usually means you are better off because you weren’t compatible enough to continue and that’s okay.  There are how many BILLIONS of people in this world?

9. Enjoy every single day of your life as much as you can – it’s important, no matter what, to establish who you are and STICK TO IT.  It’s okay to have girls’ nights while the other half does their thing – they had a life before you too.

9b. Don’t get mad at them for going out to a party, a bar or other social enclave.  Remember, if that is where they found you, it doesn’t mean they are out to replace you – they just want to have a good time. (See number 5 and number 10)

10. If you can’t accept the other person for who they are, then don’t try to change them – move on.  You need to ask yourself what is best for YOU.  Yes, this means you might be single again but so what?  (Refer to number 8 and “billions”.)

11. Relationships can be work – you WILL fight – accept it.  It doesn’t mean you love the person any less.

12. Timing and fate can be everything – I have the coolest story because of it and there’s no way I could have scripted it.  In other words, allow yourself to be open to the opportunities and the possibilities (The Year of Yes is a great book).

13. Feeling blue about a snag in a relationship?  Make sure to save old conversations and texts from the beginning of your relationship – it will reinvigorate you and remind you why they fell in love with you – I swear by this!

14. Don’t let society dictate how fast or slow you take a relationship – you only live once and if that means “living in the moment” while thinking about the future from time-to-time, do.  Some of the greatest experiences I’ve had, had nothing to do with timing.

15. Don’t nag the other person.  Before you fly off the handle, ask yourself if it’s really that important.  Has it been bothering you longer than a few days?  If so, find an appropriate time to discuss – usually not the minute the other person comes home from work, is tired or hasn’t been fed

16. Don’t continue to date in the social circle you are in.  One word for that – REPUTATION.  This will decline the more you date in the group.  If it seems “hard”…

17. Don’t limit yourself to what you know… opportunities are everywhere.  It’s keeping your eyes open, engaging in conversation – even if they are just a friend for a few years first, which means….

18. Not everyone you meet is going to be boyfriend/girlfriend material, nor is everyone you meet “the one” because…

19. This isn’t the movies, so stop acting as if  that is what you are in.  This often makes me wonder…

20. What is your first thought when you wake up in the morning?  If it’s negative, think of three different ways to change that and then pick one.  Because you only have you for the rest of your life.

Again, these are things that have helped me.  The truth is, there are things that fell into place that I can’t even put a guideline around.  When you meet the right person, your whole world changes and it isn’t scary – it’s exciting – exhilarating even.  Nothing is forced and nothing is dramatic – it’s easy. But above anything else, listen to yourself and your gut.  Everyone has an opinion but not everyone is right – don’t be afraid to be judged – embrace it.

Good luck!